Friday, July 4, 2014

Outfit: Fighting Against Your Lungs

Look at me, in blue jeans! I NEVER buy traditional-colored denim because I am eternally worried the color makes me look not so great. But, I saw these high-waisted beauties at Aeropostale last week for $5.99, and just couldn't resist. I have to say that store has really transformed since my last visit, which was probably in high school to purchase my school uniforms. They had sale bins that lured me in, but I will definitely be back! Surprisingly, I ended up liking the denim rather well. They definitely fit better for a more casual look than all my black jeans. 
Alright, now that I got my obligatory outfit talk out. Let's talk anxiety. I've talked about my struggles with it on more than one occasion here, but it seems lately that it's really had a hold on me. Suffering from anxiety and depression has to be one of the most frustrating and complicated things I have ever been faced with. It's hard to explain the feeling I personally get from being "anxious", because the severity is so unpredictable. Sometimes just seeing a big crowd of people gives me a nervous feeling, and other times I have to try with everything in me just to catch my breath over thinking about work, bills, and the perpetual "what am I doing with my life?" thought spinning through my head. Other times, my anxiety/depression isn't triggered by anything at all. Those times are the worst of all. Here recently, I've really had to come to terms with the fact that this is something I'm probably going to have to deal with forever. But, I've also made the decision to start weeding out the parts of my life that seem to intensify it. This means taking a few big leaps towards something new, even though it is terrifying and I face the possibility of failing. (I'll have more details on that soon enough.) I've also been trying to find someone to talk to about the way I have difficulty processing things in my life. This has been trying, because I have worked with several "counselors" in the past that I did not feel comfortable with at all. I do think it's going to be different this time though, since things are on my own terms. I'm tired of living halfway, and being miserable without knowing why. 
If you have ever or are currently dealing with anxiety or depression, please know that it is just as serious as it feels and also that you are worth getting better for. Be selfish! Understand that it is not going to be easy ever, and that it may never fully go away. But, you can find ways to cope, and people who don't think you're weird or hopeless. Go buy flowers for yourself even if it seems stupid. Look at old pictures from times that you were genuinely happy, just to remind yourself that you are capable of being okay. Know that even at your worst, there is still something to keep trying for, no matter how minuscule. I have been a self-loathing, cynical, unhappy person for too long. I've hidden behind sarcasm and attitude to forget about the real issue at hand. I've damaged relationships, and harmed myself for no reason other than being totally lost. And, its taken me 21 years to figure it out, but I'm finally starting to feel like I have a chance at something else. Something better. You do, too. Whoever you may be, you beautiful person, you. Take care of yourself. You're all you've really got.
-Heather

Outfit Details:
Hat- Target
Tank/ bralette- T.J. Maxx
Denim- Aeropostale
Flats- Gifted
Purse- American Eagle (found at T.J. Maxx)
Sunnies- Gabriel Brothers

9 comments:

  1. In the past my anxiety and depression has been SO bad, and it's always nice too know that there are other people going through the same thing, makes you feel less alone :). I've got mine under control a lot more these days, no thanks to the help of doctors who are useless I've found when it comes to depression/anxiety.. You should check out Zoella's videos on anxiety, they are very insightful!

    The Velvet Black // UK Style, Beauty & Lifestyle Blog

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  2. Love your outfit! And that was such a great bargain for the jeans.

    I have anxiety as well and agree with all your points, especially the 'be selfish' one. It's hard to do but important for us to take time and space for ourselves.

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    1. Thanks, Peggy! I do love a good deal. And, I appreciate your kind words!
      -Heather

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  3. hi, i just passed by your blog and so glad i did. these photos are great and anxiety and depression runs in my family and i suffer from it. it is helpful to know that you're never alone. talking about it helps me. i talk to my friends and family and wait for the feels to pass over the weeks. anyhoo this is such an inspirational post. :) all the best!

    littlekaatie.blogspot.co.uk

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    1. Thank you so much, Katie. It really is something you just have to learn to manage. I wish you the best, too!
      -Heather

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  4. Thank you for not only such a cute outfit but an inspiring read! My anxiety gets me every now and then and it honestly helps to keep a journal to kind of just clear my mind and eventually go back to being okay again. More power to you, and I love the hat on you by the way!

    xoxo,
    kaleidoscopiic.blogspot.com

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    1. That's very nice of you to say! Writing has always been an outlet for me as well. Thanks so much, Kate.
      -Heather

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  5. Thank you for your honestly and courage to share about your anxiety. I struggle with anxiety and depression everyday and most people don't seem to understand the severity of it. It's nice to hear that we are allowed to be selfish and that this illness is not something that should just be swept under the rug. It's a serious issue and with constant love and support from others and ourselves we can fight to overcome it.
    Thank you x

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    1. I think the issue definitely deserves more attention. I'm always very relieved to know that I'm at least not alone in it. Thanks so much for your words, Samantha!
      -Heather

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